I've Arrived
June 27, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: Marcie 
This house that once felt too small for this busy family - is suddenly seeming much..much too large. The rooms that were once overfilled with the sound of laughter and life - are quiet. The nest is now officially empty.
I've known this time was coming. I've known it since the day my first was born. They forewarned me. This time will pass much..much too fast. From babies to children..to defying questioning adolescents and now - to responsible and independant adults - that they've each become.
Congratulations - I keep telling myself - I've survived it all. I've arrived.
While in the midst of the muddle - it didn't seem like it ever would. But end - it did. Like all good things..and bad. Life happens. Children grow and go. And here I am - today - scratching my head and wondering how and when and - yes iff...if it really did. But - I do know. No question or doubt about it. It happened. It did.
Was there some sort of grand destination? Should there be some sort of grand celebration?
Strangely - I'm feeling neither the bitter nor the sweetness of it all. I'm feeling neither empty or full...neither lost nor found.
Here I am. At a new beginning. Again.
Only - this time it's different. I begin again - now - with time and experience and accumulated wisdom. I now know that there is nowhere to be..nowhere to go...other than right where it is I am. I know that change happens. Whether we plan for it..or not. I know - what I've heard so many times before - that they come thru us..that they are not ours to own.
I smile. When I think back...when I remember. How I did it - I have no clue. But that - I did. And that - I'll do this too.
And so - as I begin to sort and clean thru those things they chose to leave behind - those little things that they couldn't quite bear to part with..but couldn't quite take along for the ride - I find myself not quite wistful..not quite nostalgic.
It wasn't what I would have predicted..or planned...or expected. It was bumpy and roundabout and cicruitous - in more ways than one. And yet..and altho I will always question - it was good enough. It was who we were..who we are..and who we'll become.
And yes. I've arrived.
Reader Comments (17)
What a gorgeous image Marice. Your words pierce my heart as I await and try to prepare for the same inevitability with my youngest nearing the corner of 18. What a beautiful place you are in...ahhh the present moment.
Blessings!
I first saw this beautiful picture (a robin?), then I read your words - both fit together so very well in more than just one way.
I have to admit I dread the moment my daughter will leave our home for good. At the same time I'm excited and wonder what she will be like then - in only four short years that we still have together. Whatever she decides to do, I hope I can full heartedly support her and cheer her on.
Everyone who gets to this point in life deserves a Huge Medal, Marcie. A crown, maybe. A diadem? Yes, you HAVE arrived! And today is now the first day of the rest of your life. I can just imagine what's in store for you! CONGRATULATIONS!
As I think back, when our son left for college everything changed. A gradual transition in many ways...but it was never the same around the house. But the time, I think, that I really felt like "I've Arrived" was on his wedding day. Even though he had lived away from our home for several years, the day he married it truly became a reality that my role - as I had known it - was over and a new phase of my life was about to begin.
Marcie, another beautiful image and post. You have a way of making the ordinary robin -with her empty nest - so very interesting and special.
I remember well the place where you have arrived. I felt much the same way. One day followed the next and one morning I awoke in a place so special I never want to leave it. Adult children phone to share a tidbit from their day, two young children call me Grammy and warm my heart beyond measure, my husband and best friend of 39 years is still by my side, but most importantly I have time for me. My days, whether scheduled or void of commitments are full. Life in the empty nest is good.
Even though my own nest has been empty for many years I always can recall with clarity the moments when each of my children left. To come to a place where you can say "it was good enough" is so powerful. Your words touch my heart today.
Never having had children, this post would be completely outside my realm of experience - were it not for the fact that we all go through it at the other end of life, too. With very few adjustments, this post could be about my experience of my mother "moving on" in death. Even the sorting through things - not quite wistful, not quite nostalgic - is very much the same. Life certainly has more passages than we imagine!
I can't wait to see all the things you will do! You are awesome and this time is exciting ~ lovely read and image.
Great post Marcie! I never had kids of my own but I helped raise my two nieces. I am proud to say they are both lovely young women. While I may not feel the empty nest the way some of the rest you do, I can still relate with change and adapting to new things. Again, great job Marcie for putting things into words that the rest of us have been feeling.
I don't have this experience, but I see it all around me. Wonderful post.
You seem to have successfully transitioned from a busy filled house to a serene retreat. I often think of this time with both delight and dread. Reading your beautiful words today, is making me look at the whole picture in a total different light :-)
Ah, the times they are a-changin. So many beautiful times in life if we can be still and live with them. Life and change are a constant process for me, too. There's no way to be ready. We can only be.
Lovely image and great post Marcie. I think I am pretty much right where you are these days.
I'm holding these wise words close to my heart.
I am so "here" right now... my son moved out on June 1st... and my feelings mirror yours. It is a new phase of life, and I just keep thinking how we're always changing...
And now we stand back, just a little, and watch them change and flounder and grow and experience all the same things we experienced, in their own way.
Life is quite the ride, isn't it?
And... I adore that photo!
Cheers to new arrivals!!
A lovely post. You have arrived at the here and now and there are still future journeys/adventures yet discovered.